Advice for my younger self

I became a people manager for the first time in 2008. I was 25 and had no idea what I was doing. So here’s some advice for younger me that might also be helpful to you:

1. Your #1 job is to figure out what the most important problem is and then get everyone aligned on solving it.

The most wasteful thing companies do is spend months working on things that ultimately have no impact. Your team is counting on you to focus them in the right places.

2. Slow down. Listen more. Learn from others. Think.

If you don’t know what the right answer is, don’t force a decision. Not knowing doesn’t mean you are bad at your job. Taking an extra 1-2 weeks to choose the right path is better than 2-3 months executing the wrong path.

3. You are the leader of your team, but you are not a member of your team. You are a member of your leadership team.

Helping the team you lead is part of your job, not the whole job. Your job is to work with your peers to solve company problems, which is a whole lot bigger than what’s good for your team.

4. When you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated at others, notice it, and then get curious.

Maybe a co-worker is dealing with some awful stuff in their personal life. Maybe the founder is acting out because they are afraid. Maybe your report is doing bad work because no one taught them.

The stories we tell ourselves are usually wrong. Curiosity creates empathy and can expose what actually needs addressing.

5. True leadership and influence comes from people trusting you, not because your job title confers authority.

You have to earn it. Be right most of the time. Admit when you are wrong. Have integrity. Be open to the thoughts and feelings of others. Genuinely care about people. Be kind, but also be honest and be fair.

And most of all, take a breath. It’s gonna be ok. You got this.